"Waiting is the ingredient necessary to a life of quality." Gertrud Miller Nelson
Last month we started a series of newsletter articles on the seven spiritual gifts of waiting, as written and presented by Rev. Holly Whitcomb. I'd like to continue this discussion this month. As you may recall, she believes these seven gifts include: patience, loss of control, living in the present, compassion, gratitude, humility, and trust in God. We discussed the first and second gifts last month.
The third gift of waiting is living in the present. Rev. Whitcomb believes "waiting teaches us to dwell fully where we are", and to relinquish worry. It helps us live in the present and focus on what is happening right now; pay attention and enjoy the moment, and learn from our current circumstances. Most of us would agree that worry really never accomplishes anything yet it is hard to resist when we are waiting for something important to us. Rev. Whitcomb states, "When we worry, we disempower ourselves and lessen our trust in God." Waiting presents us with the unique opportunity to shift gears from useless worry about the future to engagement in the present. What is good right now? What can I be at peace with today?"
Living in the present also allows us to say, "It is enough", and be faithful in small things. Many of us live as if we are responsible for making all things happen correctly; and worry how we are going to handle everything on our plate.
The truth is we function much better when we turn over some of our endless work to God. Waiting can give us time to step back and gain some perspective. Rev. Whitcomb believes that it is in the middle of the commonplace and mundane, and the boredom of routine that our true colors show. The opportunity for everyday faithfulness is everywhere. It means "helping others feel secure." Waiting helps us to live in the present, pay attention to the little things that need to be done, and be faithful in the most ordinary moments of life.
The fourth gift of waiting is compassion. When we are waiting for something important in our lives, we tend to seek out others who will understand our fears and anxieties. Waiting together in uncertainty creates compassion. Compassion reminds us that we are not alone, and teaches us to receive. The anxiety of waiting breaks down our barriers and opens us to the compassion of others. It also opens us to connect with others in compassion. “When we share the suffering of those who wait – and they with us – we know we are not waiting alone.” When Jesus washed the feet of the disciples during Passover, he reminded his disciples and us that if we cannot receive from others, we will never empower those who offer their gifts and we will never treat others as equals.
Compassion also allows us to be seen for who we really are, and gather strength from others. When we are waiting for something important, we may feel invisible, powerless, and thus frustrated. It is then we often seek someone out to really see and hear us. When someone really listens, everything can shift from a draining of energy to receiving a pool of compassion. Waiting can create a unique connection between those who experience it together.
The fifth gift of waiting is gratitude. Waiting can teach us to appreciate all the pieces of our lives that are running smoothly and have fallen into place. Gratitude opens our eyes to the blessing of small things, and moves us beyond a sense of entitlement. Entitlement is a continued comparing, insisting on getting more than someone else. If we believe we are getting less than we deserve, there is no way we will be content, let alone grateful. In the pain of waiting, it is easy to slip into a feeling of being entitled to better than this. The next time you find yourself waiting impatiently, pause, and make the choice to be grateful for all the small blessings you have received. Remember what is going well. Breathe in a little gratitude.
The sixth gift of waiting is humility. Sometimes we wait because we can’t do anything else. We recognize we are powerless and feel vulnerable. As Rev Whitcomb states, "In our vulnerability, we realize that forces and powers greater than ourselves have taken over. It is during those times of waiting that we learn true humility". Humility can lead us to love rather than achievement. When we are waiting and not so busy "doing", we have a chance to recognize who we "are". When waiting puts life on hold, priorities may get rearranged. We may reevaluate what is really important to us. These are the times we may realize that love is more lasting than achievement, one of the most valuable gifts of waiting.
Humility also leads us to honor others, and live without judgment, and to honest assessment of ourselves. Waiting can bring us low, and change our perspective. From our low point, we can be more aware of others who are also struggling, and look at the worth of each individual. We learn to respect each individual who is struggling with his own personal battle, and to honor the “incredible value of the human journey”. Humility is from the Latin word, humus which means ground or earth. True humility grounds us in understanding who we really are, both positive and negative. "Humility means authentically assessing all our gifts and potential as much as our failings and our flaws. True humility requires accepting our goodness as well as our flaws."
Next month, I will conclude this discussion of the "Seven Spiritual Gifts of Waiting" with the seventh and probably greatest gift, trust in God. I leave you with this prayer from Rev. Whitcomb: “Gracious God of all times and places, We thank you that you are with our going out and coming in, Our stopping and our waiting. May waiting be our teacher. Amen
Peace and joy,
Bonnie